A Diamond with Many Facets
Someone asked me to define romantic love. I can do it for me, maybe. For someone else, no way. It seems to me love has to be different for different folks. But I can take a stab at defining love for me. We’ve been happily married for almost sixty-seven years, so I guess I’m qualified.
One facet of love is the need to be with someone. When we first began to date, I simply wanted to be with her every minute that I could. There was a driving need to be together. There was the joy of sharing our deepest thoughts and dreams. It was through long talks that our souls began to weave around each other. We would each listen and empathize with the other. We shared our hurts. We shared our joys. We called it feeling “close.” Whenever we didn’t feel “close,” we spent time talking and sharing our thoughts and feelings. Soon we felt “close” again.
In our early years, there was a ‘fun’ facet that was always prominent. It was fun to be together. We could each make the other laugh. We still can.
Early in our relationship we established honesty and trust. If there is no honesty, love can never happen.
There is certainly a facet which can best be called physical sharing. We needed to hold hands, to kiss. Later, we became even more intimate, but at no time did the physical need overcome our simple need to be together and to feel emotionally “close.” On the contrary, our “closeness” enhanced the physical part.
As time wore on, a support facet came to the fore. Life is not always easy. There are downs, lots of them. Downs are easier to bear when we can share our feelings with each other. Sharing the downs makes the ups that much better.
The work facet is very real, also. We both worked hard toward our collective goals. When you are working to help the person you love, work can often become a joy.
Our children enhanced our love greatly. Children mean work, certainly, but they also mean concern and worry. Regardless, they brought incredible joy and family warmth. Nothing beats that kind of love and joy.
We are old now, but even in our declining years, we still hold hands. We still touch our feet together in the bed. The touch tells us, “I am there for you and you for me.”
Perhaps I can leave it this way. Love is a wonderful, gentle twisting of two souls around each other.
- Chuck Gleason