EDITING FOR STRONG WRITING
By Linda Kasten, literary agent, Loiacono Literary Agency, and author of Castle of Cards
You’ve completed your novel, worked and reworked your plot, subplots, setting, characterization, point of view, theme—all elements required to create an alternate universe. Once you’ve done the heavy lifting, you’re now ready to tackle the real work: editing.
Editing can unfold in many forms. Scenes may need to be rearranged, paragraphs deleted, clearer settings rewritten, and viewpoints fixed. But what many writers fail to apply to their editing is strong writing—fixing the words and sequences one uses sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph.
What is strong writing, you may ask? It’s the difference between a writer and an amateur.
Lazy verbs. In today’s world, the search function on your software program will become your best friend. One of the most overused words in a manuscript is “was.” Reword every sentence possible to eliminate the words “are/was/is/were” and paint a more visual picture using strong verbs.
Example: John was the team’s best player and had a gift for fastballs.
John’s fastballs made him the team’s best player.
Present participles. When writing in past tense, do not confuse completed action with continuous action. Present participles used incorrectly detract from the meaning and from the action’s immediacy.
Example: Eliza was running through the field with her kite.
Eliza ran through the field with her kite.
Or even better: Eliza charged through the field with her kite.
Always look for the strongest verb for the most precise image you want to convey.
That/Who(m)/Which. Nine times out of ten, you do not need these crutch words. Use that as an adjective only, or use that when the sentence needs clarity. A writer might be surprised how many times that shows up in his manuscript.
Example: The wind roared so ferociously that the windows in the dining room flew open.
The wind roared so ferociously the windows in the dining room flew open.
The man who is training for the job scored well on the test.
The man training for the job scored well on the test.
Gestures: Keep body language to a minimum when using dialogue. No need for smiling, nodding, shrugging, looking, eyebrow raising, head shaking, sighing, etc. There’s nothing interesting about them unless you are unable to convey body language through the dialogue. Sometimes action with dialogue adds more drama and serves as a better choice. Breathe, inhale, exhale, and adrenaline are also becoming redundant in writing. Describe emotions more creatively.
Speaking of Dialogue: Minimize dialogue tags. When two characters chat back and forth, you can limit the use of ‘she said,’ ‘he said.’ Also, inserting action to break up dialogue provides a better option.
Example: “That was a great show,” said Margaret.
“It was entertaining,” said John.
Margaret asked, “Would you like to hang out a bit?”
“I don’t have to get home just yet,” John answered. “I’m game.”
“How about some pizza?” asked Margaret.
“That was a great show,” said Margaret.
John stuffed his cell phone into his pocket. “It was entertaining.”
“Would you like to hang out a bit?”
“I don’t have to get home just yet. I’m game.”
“How about some pizza?”
Also, be stingy on addressing characters in dialogue. When we speak, we do not say:
Example: “Well, John, what did you think about the show?”
“It was entertaining, Margaret.”
“John, would you like to hang out a bit?”
“I don’t have to get home just yet. I’m game, Margaret.”
Etc.
It is reasonable to have a name addressed occasionally in dialogue to remind the reader who is speaking, but when the reader knows which character is speaking, it is not necessary to have one character address another in every statement. Be frugal.
Delete Redundancies: Past history, sky above, hung down, ceiling overhead, whispered softly, end result, etc. You’d be surprised how many of these combinations invade a manuscript.
Be Specific: Whenever the opportunity arises for improved descriptions, use specific images. Instead of saying dog, name a breed. Instead of car, tell us the make.
‘Of’ phrases: Another fun task for your computer search is checking your manuscript for of the and make them possessive.
Example: The arc of the rainbow showed four pastel colors.
The rainbow’s arc showed four pastel colors.
However, avoid double possessives – grandma’s cat’s food bowl.
Would: Whenever depicting habitual action, use the past tense rather than would.
Example: Each afternoon, Aunt Bev would fix tea and cookies.
Each afternoon, Aunt Bev fixed tea and cookies.
Appear to/seem to: These are weakeners. Reword you sentence.
Example: The sun appeared to shake in the sky.
The sun shook in the sky.
The sun seemed to shake in the sky.
The sun shook in the sky.
There was/there were: Eliminate sentence structures using there was and there were.
Example: There were doves flying in the sky.
Doves flew in the sky.
Adverbs: Most writers have heard strong verbs can do a better job than using adverbs.
However, an o casional “ly” word is fine where appropriate. Adverbs to ax from your sentences as they will never be missed are: very, actually, totally, completely, absolutely, definitely, certainly, perfectly, probably, basically, literally, virtually, etc.
More Qualifiers and Vague Words: Eliminate these unnecessary words: a bit, a little, fairly, highly, just, kind of, mostly, pretty, quite, rather, really, slightly, so, somewhat, sort of, some, interesting, almost.
Prepositional phrases: When using out of, you do not always need of. All of the should be all the and sometimes just all. The same for off of; remove of.
Examples: He went out of the door.
He went out the door.
He went all of the way to the store.
He went all the way to the store.
He took the pot off of the stove.
He took the pot off the stove.
Also, prepositions and conjunctions are described as glue words. If your sentence word count contains more than 45% of these glue words, time to rework it.
Body Parts: This is a fun one, right? Never have body parts act on their own.
Examples: Her hand waved.
She waved her hand.
Her eyes fell on the page in front of her.
Her gaze fell on the page in front of her.
Began to/Started to: Your characters shouldn’t begin to or start to do anything unless a specific task requires.
Examples: She began to cry.
She cried.
He started to brush the dog.
He brushed the dog.
Sentences Beginning with It: Limit referring to everything as “it.” Using specific words or word variations provide clearer images.
And and But: Starting sentences with and or but isn’t necessary unless used to create a specific effect.
The and A: These two articles are not always necessary either, especially when using plural words that qualify as ambiguous.
Examples: The rats scampered from the house.
Rats scampered from the house.
A joy came over her.
Joy came over her.
Other words that prevent your reader from connecting to your characters are: Wonder, ponder, think, thought, feel, felt, understand, realize, decide, know. When in limited third person, the reader knows who is speaking and understands the character is thinking, feeling, realizing, etc. The reader doesn’t need the intrusive reminders.
The following list (although some have been mentioned above), are words for search and replace: A little, almost, anyway, at the present time, began to, by means of, certainly, considering the fact that, definitely, even, exactly, fairly, in order to, in spite of the fact that, in the event that, is/was/were/are, just, perfect, perhaps, probably, proceeded to, owing to the fact, quite, rather, real, really, seem, slightly, so some, somewhat, sort of, start/started to, such, that, the, usually, very, which, who.
Redundant words: Two-wheeled bicycle, 6 a.m. in the morning, absolutely perfect, blistering hot, climbed up the stairs, crept slowly, drop down, eased slowly, exact same, fall down, long-necked giraffe, long-lasting durability, nodded his head, ran quickly, red in color, rise up, rose to her feet, sat down, shrugged his shoulders, small leprechaun, stomped heavily, stood to his full height, stood up, terribly bad, the reason why, tiptoed quietly.
In summary, nailing strong writing takes much more than listed above, but this provides a solid beginning. As a writer tackles these writing ‘tricksters,’ he’ll soon find himself subconsciously avoiding or replacing them. When the end is typed on the final page, he will also notice his writing has advanced to another level and will garner more agent interest. Strong writing and strong stories make for smooth reading.
- Linda Kasten is a novelist who writes thrillers and romance suspense. Having received a literature degree, with minors in journalism and creative writing from Newman University in her hometown, Wichita, Kansas, she has continued studying and working on honing her craft, taking advantage of writing workshops and retreats, networking through conferences, and working with critique editors. She also belongs to several writing groups within her state’s radius. Her novel, Castle of Cards, is available for acquisition.